


What shall we eat today?

by mew_tsubaki



Series: mew's Kurodai adult life AU [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst to the max, Light Kenhina & implied Bokuaka & mentions of Levyaku, M/M, get out the tissues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-12 17:58:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7116694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mew_tsubaki/pseuds/mew_tsubaki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tetsurou, Daichi, and the waning of appetites.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What shall we eat today?

**Author's Note:**

> The Haikyuu! characters belong to Furudate Haruichi-sensei, not to me. Inspired a little by food manga I've been reading and my love/hate relationship with Kuroo. :P Read, review, and enjoy!

Kuroo Tetsurou dries his hands on the towel hanging on the handle of the utensil drawer. The pan is already steaming on the cooktop in front of him, so he swipes at the pad of butter from the stick on the counter to his right and drops the butter into the pan. The aroma slowly levitates upwards, and he grins a smidge.

"So, what do you want to eat tonight?" he calls over his shoulder. The living area is right behind him because their place is small but at least it's not more than they can afford on their combined budget.

"Ah, um, whatever's fine," Sawamura Daichi replies, and it doesn't take a glance for Tetsurou to know that Daichi isn't even looking up from his laptop screen.

Tetsurou's grin disappears, but he sighs and rolls his shoulders. His narrow eyes drop to the pan, and the butter just barely begins to burn. But then he comes to his senses and lowers the heat, tilting the pan to spread the butter evenly.

It doesn't really matter that he asked Daichi about supper. Tetsurou already had something in mind. That was why he already had his ingredients laid out—the vegetables, the spices, the sauces, the thin slices of meat. The rice he'd washed and cooked earlier in the day since he'd come home early for once, so it sits now in the steamer, just staying warm.

So as things come together and he adds items one step at a time, Tetsurou warms, kind of like the rice. Cooking takes his mind off how things stand between him and Daichi these days. He loves cooking—or is it just like?—so it's not so bad that it's probably his biggest distraction nowadays.

* * *

"Oi, Kenma~ Long time no chat," Tetsurou drawls into his phone as he opens a bag of pretzels during a break between classes.

There's a pause on the other end of the line. Then—"Oh, Kuroo-san."

"…oh. Chibi-chan." As much as Tetsurou likes the saltiness of his snack, the savory flavor dulls on his tongue. "Is Kenma there?"

He can almost picture the shorty's apologetic expression. "Ah, yeah, he is… But he just started playing that game you got him last month for his birthday, and he said—and I quote!—'If it's Kuroo, I'm not answering.' Sorry, Kuroo-san."

"No, it's not your fault. Hell, if you hadn't been around, no one would've picked up at all. He gets like that with new games. I've had enough experience with that." Tetsurou shakes his head. "Just…"

"Yes?"

"Tell him to call me when he gets the chance, yeah? Thanks, kiddo."

"Ah, right, Kuroo-san." The line clicks, and the exchange with Hinata is over.

Tetsurou sighs into his bag of pretzels. He wishes he had chosen a tastier snack today.

Regardless, he eats a few more pretzels before folding the top over and shoving the bag back into his rucksack. He stands and looks around—he glances at his watch, which tells him he's still got fourteen minutes before his next class, which is at best a three-minute walk from where he is now since it's in the building right behind him.

Impulsively, he takes out his phone again and texts Daichi. Maybe they can manage a quick lunch since it _is_ halfway through the day. Sure, Tetsurou knows the other male is in his history class right now and is unlikely to leave, but Tetsurou's managed to convince him a few times before to skip. So he sends the text and waits for two minutes.

Four minutes after sending it, there's still no reply. Tetsurou's not surprised. He goes to the dining commons anyway and grabs a salad to go, with two packets of dressing, and the walk back still has him arriving to his classroom early.

As he tears open both packets with his teeth and doctors up the greens, his mind wanders. Kenma's lucky. Staying in Tokyo was probably the right call. And even his favorite person, Karasuno's decoy, had ended up joining him in Tokyo for university, somehow. A stray thought wondering what Karasuno's grumpy setter had thought of that moves through Tetsurou's mind, but it disappears just as quickly as it comes. The point is that Kenma's lucky.

Tetsurou, on the other hand… He glances at his phone before he digs in, but the screen displays no new messages.

If Kenma's lucky, then Tetsurou must be cursed. That's the only way Nekoma's former captain can view it. Not staying in Tokyo as expected had probably been a warning sign. But he couldn't've helped it. He'd been going stir-crazy in Tokyo. So he'd chosen a different university, in a city, a town that knew how to go to sleep at night.

But little had he expected to room with Karasuno's former captain.

Even now, Tetsurou can close his eyes and still remember what Daichi had said then. "Uh…this was my dad's alma mater," the crow had spoken after uncomfortable greetings had been shared. "So it just made sense…"

"'Made sense'…?" Tetsurou hadn't been able to help the snicker that had escaped him. Sure, he had respect for Daichi—it was a captain thing—but, before then, Tetsurou had thought Daichi a little different from his teammates. Until that comment, which clearly demonstrated that all of the crows were very linear thinkers.

But Fate had gotten back at Tetsurou soon enough when Daichi had done better than him in one of the few general education classes they'd shared in their first semester. So a different kind of respect, one more like that between friends, developed between them. And that's where Tetsurou's bad luck enters the picture.

Because being friends with Daichi is easy enough. Loving the guy…not so much.

* * *

Tetsurou's in a good mood for once. A genuinely good mood. He had a great day at work—which says a lot, since he doesn't really like working on the weekends since he finds it cuts into his free time, and actual time spent with Daichi these days is precious enough as it is.

Daichi seems alarmed when he comes home and finds Tetsurou humming in the kitchen. "Ah, um…what happened…?"

"You know, you sound just like Yaku, saying that," the cat replies, briefly sticking his tongue out at the other man. "But my boss gave me some tips and showed me a couple of his tricks today, so I'm cooking up something special."

"Oh, I see." Daichi shakes his head at him, maybe amused. "You know, that would've happened ages ago at any other restaurant."

"Not at the good ramen shops, Daichi. I'll have been there for five years next year, and then I might be allowed to start helping to prepare the stock for the broth." It's true. It takes a while for newbies to be allowed anywhere near the real preparation, but Tetsurou thinks it's worth it, especially for tonight.

The shorter man shifts his bag on his shoulder. "Well, I'm gonna go take a bath. Is that all right?"

"Yeah, yeah, take your time."

Daichi smiles his thanks and walks off, and Tetsurou pretends not to notice how the smile never reached his eyes.

By the time dinner is ready, they're both seated at the tiny table in their kitchen/dining area. Tetsurou has served up two heaping bowls of ramen and already opened a bottle of light beer for each of them.

"I thought so," Daichi says as his eyes fall on the food. He swirls his soup spoon in the broth for a moment. "My favorite kind—thank you."

"Don't worry about it," Tetsurou says around his piece of fish cake, so it comes out sounding more like "Dun ari bow eh."

But Daichi picks up his chopsticks and pokes and prods the hardboiled egg. "But it's your birthday, Tetsurou. You should make what you want."

Tetsurou slurps some noodles. "I want to make a meal to share with you." He slurps some more.

Daichi hesitates, but then he begins to eat, too.

And that's their conversation for the night.

* * *

They agree on coffee in the morning to get things going, but Tetsurou has a real cat's tongue.

"It's not even coffee anymore, with what you add to it," Daichi pokes lightly, as he has done over the years.

Technically, he's right. Tetsurou adds so much milk that it's less coffee with milk and more like milk with coffee before he sprinkles cinnamon into the mixture. On top of that, he prefers a light roast, whereas Daichi will drink a dark roast black, he's that ambitious.

Sunday mornings are quiet like this, though, for them. It's because they're used to the early morning practices, even though they don't have a volleyball team anymore. Sure, their university has a club, but Daichi doesn't have the time for recreational activities, being a bio major. He spends way too much time in the lab.

Tetsurou is a part of the volleyball club, but he knows it's mostly just a way to get some exercise. He doesn't even go all-out on his club mates, because none of them play at pro-level. It would be too cruel to do that to them.

So Sundays are like this. Early morning. Coffee. Daichi reading the newspaper. Tetsurou sitting beside him. Usually Tetsurou flips through the TV channels.

But not today. Today, he sits beside Daichi, one arm behind him on the couch, and tilts his head back until his neck is cushioned by the couch and he can stare at the ceiling.

Like the walls of their tiny place, the ceiling is painted a dim, pale yellow. It vaguely reminds Tetsurou's of his best friend's pudding head, but dull. There's nothing exciting about how the apartment looks…but at least it's theirs.

Internally, he snorts. Can he even really call it theirs? Them moving in together like this had been an accident anyway. In their first year, yes, they'd been assigned to be roommates. And, when it turned out that they did well as roommates, they'd put in request after request, semester after semester, to stay roommates. But then this past summer had happened, and, with it, a fumigation order. Their old dorm building had had some serious pest problems that no one had even known about, and the students had been notified last-minute before the semester about finding new housing.

Others had managed to be mushed into other dorms. A few had found friends or relatives willing to put them up. Tetsurou could even think of a guy who'd just up and transferred schools because he hadn't wanted to deal with that load of bull. But him and Daichi? Well, after two years of toeing the waters, Tetsurou had asked him to move in with him. Surprisingly, Daichi had said yes.

But, Tetsurou ponders as he closes his eyes to the dull yellow paint that's flecking off in two places, maybe Daichi was just being nice. He's been softer, more go-with-the-flow since two years ago.

And maybe Tetsurou has only taken advantage of that ever since.

* * *

It's a cold, mid-winter night, and Tetsurou wakes up in the middle of it.

"Shit, shit, shit," he mutters to himself as he exits his bedroom and speed walks over to the kitchen. He's got his duvet wrapped around him, but he couldn't find his slippers, so with every barefoot step towards the microwave, it becomes apparent that there'd been a power outage.

His worst thoughts are confirmed when he sees the time display blinking on the microwave. He resets the clock and then rummages around for a mug and a packet of instant cocoa. He mixes it and waits with the duvet pulled up to his nose while it heats up.

He shouldn't've thought about two years ago last week. Doing so had kept the thoughts plaguing his brain, and now it had interrupted his sleep.

Tetsurou frowns. His eyes sidle past the living room to the door beside the bathroom, which is cracked open. He pads over quietly and peeks in on his roommate.

Daichi sleeps soundly, one thick blanket covering him. Unlikely he noticed the power outage.

The taller man returns to the kitchen at the first ding on the microwave, and he opens it up before it can continue to make noise. He sips the drink, adds some milk, sips it again, and adds two drops of the coffee liqueur he keeps for cooking purposes. Ah. Much better.

As he drinks, he lets his mind revisit the memories that were keeping him up. He thinks of his shameless flirting of which Kenma had warned Daichi and which Daichi had just laughed off. He thinks of the extra looks he'd been stealing of the other former captain since the start of their second year of university. He thinks about those times when he'd plotted, _actually plotted_ , to pretend to be the kissing kind of drunk just so he might've stolen a kiss or copped a feel from Daichi, when in reality Tetsurou was only a loud drunk (according to Yaku and Kai). Most of all, he remembers how easily Daichi was getting along with him when Daichi got that phone call.

His dad—dead. A hit-and-run. Those things just happened.

And a normally stoic guy like Daichi suddenly wasn't strong, and he needed someone around him. Naturally, Tetsurou had thought that meant Suga, since those two were still tight even after high school, but Suga was too far away, was still in Miyagi. But still Tetsurou had thought that Daichi would seek out someone else, anyone else, someone who'd known him before, who'd known him longer.

Daichi had chosen Tetsurou.

Nothing between them had happened immediately, but it was the little things. Mostly it was leaning on Tetsurou, just wanting to be around him. And then, after the first of the New Year, it had been the last "Kuroo" out of Daichi's mouth, and the first "Tetsurou" that had slipped from his lips. And the kinder Daichi had become towards him, the softer he'd turned, and the two men had acknowledged that it was important to seize this opportunity, this shared attraction, just as it had been important once upon a time to seize upon them being roommates, to secure their friendship.

Tetsurou finishes his drink and ends his reminiscing there, where things were happier for them. He rinses his mug and leaves it out to dry—sure to earn him a gripe from Daichi, who tends to do the dishes after Tetsurou makes a mess of the kitchen—and then he crosses the living room once more to that cracked door.

He opens the door wide enough to slip inside, duvet and all, and gently shuts it when he's in. "Daichi," he whispers, "move over."

Maybe Daichi hears him, maybe he doesn't. But he rolls over nevertheless, and there's enough room for the lanky intruder to join him under the covers.

Tetsurou climbs in, still wrapped up like an egg roll, but he slips his hands out to touch that broad back. It's warm, just like always, and it warms Tetsurou to the extent that the cocoa couldn't.

He falls asleep, forgetting the night's chilling touch and how Daichi is turned away from him.

* * *

Maybe it's Tetsurou's imagination, but Daichi eats less these days.

"My appetite's fine, I swear," Daichi laughs it off when Tetsurou calls him out on it.

"Then how come you didn't finish everything on your plate last night?"

"Because that was a _really_ big birthday meal, Tetsurou." Daichi furrows his brow, as if asking the cat to believe him. "I'll be fine today. Promise."

Tetsurou's lips are a straight line, but he knows he's useless against those large, coffee-colored eyes. "…fine. But no binging on snacks just because we're doing the first shrine visit. I'll fix us a proper, traditional feast when we get back."

"Oh, don't do that… I won't be able to finish that either…"

They eat a light breakfast—Daichi's lighter than Tetsurou's, of course—and head out to the nearest shrine. It's clear to see where to go, despite their all-white surroundings, because of the other people heading in the same direction. The hike up the shrine's steps is ridiculous, as usual, and on the way back they hit a convenience store anyway, and Daichi grabs two pork buns. Tetsurou rolls his eyes when Daichi offers him a bite. "I knew this would happen."

Still, Daichi looks like a happy hamster with his cheeks stuffed like that. The atmosphere is nice, and Tetsurou takes Daichi's hand in his.

But no sooner does he do that than Daichi pulls it away. Daichi makes a show of eating the second pork bun in lieu of explaining himself.

Tetsurou gets it. No PDA, even the surreptitious kind that most bystanders are willing to overlook.

* * *

"I'm jealous. You sound happy. You and Hinata do it last night or something?"

"I'm hanging up."

"Wait! Wait," Tetsurou whines, even though they've been on the phone for about an hour and the conversation is nearing its end anyway since Daichi will be home soon. "Oh, come on, Kenma~ I was just joking~ Don't leave me~" Though, really, with how much Kenma dotes on Hinata, who knows how much truth there is in Tetsurou's jokes?

Kenma sighs. "Well, instead of being jealous, you could be happy yourself. Have you talked to Sawamura about all you told me?"

Tetsurou pauses, swallows the lump in his throat. "…of course not, ass. Why do you think I told you?"

"I'm not the one being an ass, ass."

Sometimes Tetsurou really wishes he hadn't taught Kenma finally to talk back. He only talks back to Tetsurou, anyway.

"But it's obvious he means a lot to you, so…if someone means a lot to you, you should tell them." Kenma's voice becomes gentler at the end of his sentence.

Tetsurou sighs. "Dammit, you're useless now that Hinata walked into the room."

"Did you say something, Kuroo?"

He groans. "No, never mind. See you, Kenma."

"Bye, Kuroo." And then Tetsurou is left to the silence of his apartment.

He gets up from the couch and runs a hand through his hair. When in doubt, cook, so Tetsurou heads to the fridge, rummaging through things and brainstorming meal ideas for tonight.

Besides winning over Daichi's heart, if there's one thing Tetsurou can recall clear as day, it's why he learned how to cook. And it wasn't even something inspiring like watching his mom or dad cook and wanting to be like them. It was because of Kenma. It was because of that long-haired, fold-in-on-himself brat who wormed his way into Tetsurou's life and became the best friend a guy could ask for. It was because Tetsurou would ask Kenma to come out and play and, because their parents began to work odd hours as they grew older, they needed more than just snacks. So Tetsurou picked up a few things from his mother and Kenma's mother and, the next thing their parents knew, Tetsurou could be relied on to fix them supper if there was ever a night with just the boys.

Still…Tetsurou feels thankful for that. He genuinely enjoys cooking now—not enough to go to cooking school, but maybe he _will_ stay at the ramen shop and become the chef's apprentice or something. He doesn't really know what he wants to do anyway, with degrees in psychology and Japanese history, of all things, so maybe the ramen shop is his calling.

He pulls out a few items from the fridge and grabs some things from the cupboard. He begins to experiment some when the front door opens.

"Welcome home," he says as he sautés onions.

"Ah, yeah, thanks." Daichi shrugs out of his jacket and enters the kitchen. He grabs some paper towel to dry off his face because it's spring, which always means rain. "Sorry, but I'm not staying long. I just came home to get changed."

Tetsurou's eyes widen and he finally looks at his drenched companion. "What? Why?"

"Oh. Well… I tried to call," Daichi says, taking his phone out of his pocket. "But my phone died. I'll grab a spare battery when I go out."

Tetsurou bites his lower lip involuntarily. "Where are you going?"

"Suga's in town. We were gonna grab drinks, maybe catch a bite." Daichi takes a step closer to Tetsurou, but he doesn't peck his cheek or anything—nothing that Tetsurou does. He claps him on the shoulder instead. "So you don't have to cook for me tonight."

Daichi hurries into his room and puts on a fresh shirt. He looks a little nicer than normal. That dark green button-up—it brings out the copper flecks in his eyes. Tetsurou forgets to correct him, that Tetsurou doesn't _have_ to cook for him, that Tetsurou _likes_ cooking for him.

"Ah, and don't wait up," Daichi adds, pointing to him with a friendly smile and grabbing an umbrella at the last second before heading back out into the deluge.

The door shuts, a loud, too-final sound that rings in Tetsurou's ears. He's left to the silence of their apartment again.

He loves Daichi—or is it just like?—so it's making it hard to ignore how rarely they eat together anymore.

* * *

They've got about two months left before they graduate. Daichi's going to stay on as his professor's assistant. He's still trying to figure out what he wants to do, he tells Tetsurou, but at least he gets to continue with the research he loves so much for now.

Tetsurou doesn't know what he's going to do himself, so he doesn't offer up anything. He smiles and nods when Daichi thinks aloud about future plans.

Besides, who really plans for the future? One moment you're enjoying life, getting by in school, having fun. The next you've lost a parent, the one in whose footsteps you were following. One moment you're just messing with your friend—the next you're calling him by his first name and holding him like a lover.

Sometimes, on nights when Daichi comes home late or doesn't come home at all—he falls asleep at the lab, he says—Tetsurou wonders what it would've been like to have stayed in Tokyo. To have gone to a proper university with an actual volleyball team. To have turned pro. To have done what Bokuto did, to become one of Japan's youngest volleyball Olympians.

Or maybe he should've acted like Tsukki, realizing that volleyball was fun but that maybe he had other talents. Maybe he should've done a quick two-year program like the one Tsukki's wrapping up before heading to med school. Who knows if Tsukki will become a doctor or not, but that's what it looks like right now.

Or perhaps Tetsurou should've done like Yaku, stayed in Tokyo, played volleyball, and gone to school for sports medicine or physical education or something. Yaku's got his life made, since a job at Nekoma is waiting for him once he graduates.

But Tetsurou? He's just been thinking from day to day—what to cook, his homework, if he needed to do laundry, if Daichi would eat with him tonight, if Daichi would look at him like he used to tonight, if Daichi might kiss him tonight, if Daichi would at least touch him tonight in a way that reminds Tetsurou that they're more than just close friends.

Because being friends with Daichi is easy enough. But loving the guy?

It's mental and emotional anguish.

* * *

A week after graduation, nothing's changed.

Their families came to see the ceremony, which was nice. Daichi's mother likes him. His parents like Daichi. Everyone's glad they befriended each other and that they look out for each other.

* * *

Two weeks after graduation, Tetsurou gets a call from Bokuto, whom he hasn't seen in a long while. They chat, and—yet again—it's as though nothing's changed.

"I think he's making big plans with Akaashi, the poor kid," he informs Daichi with a chuckle. They're having lunch…which, these days, means that Tetsurou is eating like a normal person, and Daichi is having his fourth cup of coffee that day. University's over, but neither of them has said a single thing about changing their living venue.

Daichi smiles at him while he animatedly catches his companion up on Bokuto's antics. And the smile almost warms him as if the crow's arms are wrapped around him.

* * *

Three weeks after graduation, Tetsurou thinks about what he loves about Daichi.

Well, he admires Daichi's stubbornness. The guy hates to lose, he hates being told he's wrong, and he hates it when someone doesn't listen to him. Although pretending not to listen to him just produces an adorable glare from him.

He likes the way Daichi thinks, like…one foot in front of the other. In that way, Daichi doesn't worry about the "bigger picture." He's always been all about the small goals that he knows he can achieve—he was like that even back in high school.

Physically, Daichi is very handsome. There's no denying that, even though Daichi over the years has mumbled a few times about being "plain." Obviously, Tetsurou knows, Daichi hasn't witnessed how his eyes darken like firewood in the sunlight, nor has he ever gotten a proper look at his back…or backside…in the mirror.

And then there's the way Daichi makes Tetsurou feel. That's a combination of things. Daichi…makes Tetsurou feel necessary—not needed, but _necessary_ , because there's a difference, as though it's the combo of being needed and being wanted at the same time. Tetsurou feels loved, too. He doesn't feel like a parent running a daycare—no, those were his Nekoma days. And it's not that they're equals, but they're partners.

…or, at least, they were in the beginning. Dividing up chores in their dorm and then their apartment. Budgeting and shopping together less as friends and more as married couples do. Arguing about their favorite characters in the shows they watch. Pulling all-nighters for essays due the next day. Cheering the other up when he was down. Nursing the other back to health when he caught a cold. Hanging out with their group of friends which blended their old circles of friends together.

Those things have changed, though. Tetsurou handles most of the chores now, as Daichi's not home as much. Daichi's better with numbers, so he'll do the budgeting and split up their shopping lists…they rarely shop together anymore. Tetsurou watches their shows quietly by himself on the couch now, and their essay days are now behind them. Daichi's too busy to be down or get sick, and who knows if Daichi would even notice if Tetsurou were down or got sick nowadays? And hanging out with their old friends…at least, in one case, that might be a problem, Tetsurou wonders, thinking about how quickly Suga's name came up in Daichi's conversation and just how quickly the setter's name disappeared from the crow's dialogue, too.

Yaku once told Tetsurou that university was just another stage of life. It would be lived out, finished, and then that would be that. Another chapter in their lives, closed.

The only problem is that Tetsurou doesn't think he can write the next chapter without Daichi in it.

…can he?

* * *

Four weeks after graduation, Tetsurou turns over a new leaf.

The apartment is pristine. The weather outside is brilliant. His phone's fully charged and he's wearing his favorite t-shirt and jeans. And he's cooking.

It's early evening, but he wanted to take his time with things today, so Tetsurou has spent the day in the kitchen, the way he used to, before things changed, before Daichi grew too soft, before Suga's name came up, before Kenma was happy—before Tetsurou had realized just how deep he was in.

Daichi had a brief afternoon job in the lab, but he comes home at the right time, just as everything is ready. "Whoa, nice timing," he says, and Tetsurou can hear it in his voice that he's truly impressed.

Tetsurou smiles, perhaps a little too easily, but he appreciates Daichi's genuineness. "Eh, what can I say? I'm pretty good."

"That you are," Daichi says with a laugh in his throat, and he bumps his shoulder against the taller man's.

A lump forms in Tetsurou's throat, but he just drinks his glass of ice water and forces the lump down. His resolve can't break now.

Daichi eats generously for the first time in a long while. "I love it when you surprise me like this," he says, and some beautiful color floods his cheeks. "And your boss at the shop—he should just have you make the ramen now. It's perfect, Tetsurou."

Shit. Why now of all times? Why now is the old Daichi returning? Why now is _his Daichi_ returning?

The shorter man continues to eat, but his pace slows. "…Tetsurou…? Aren't you going to eat? You're gripping your water awfully hard there…" He lowers his chopsticks.

Tetsurou panics. Daichi's looking at him for real, for the first time in forever. So what now? What does Tetsurou do? Does he still go ahead with his plan? Does he make this day memorable? Or does he turn it into just another one of those nights where he's simply surprised Daichi with his favorite dish?

He begins to waffle…but then he catches sight of his black-and-white gym bag by the couch. A second lump forms in his throat, but he swallows it without having to take another sip of his water. And he meets Daichi's eyes.

"Daichi…I'm going away."

Silence. Daichi's hands lay on the table. He stares back at Tetsurou. "Why?" is there in his eyes.

Tetsurou exhales and offers him a small smile. "Bokuto offered… He and Akaashi are taking a trip. Lev's going, too. He and Bokuto made a Polish friend from their time in the Olympics, so they're going to visit Europe. Lev's got some relatives in Russia, you know, so they'll stay there for a while, and then they're going to stay with their friend in Poland. Akaashi apparently has always wanted to see France and England, so Bokuto wants to take him there, too, and then they're going to America. Maybe because of Olympic stuff, maybe because Akaashi wants to see Hollywood—I dunno, maybe both." Tetsurou scratches the back of his head, but he doesn't look away from that stunned gaze. "I know Yaku will miss Lev, but Bokuto offered me the getaway and I told Yaku that I'd look after his hyperactive kitten, so…"

There's this weird wet sound, and it takes the cat a moment to realize that it's just Daichi wetting his lips. "…for how long?"

"I'm not sure," Tetsurou replies with a sigh. "But a while. I gave my boss the proper two weeks' notice two weeks ago. He said I can come back, if I choose."

"So you're moving out…?"

Ah, yes, this part. Until he opens his mouth, Tetsurou still doesn't know how to answer that, so: "I guess." Finally he lets his eyes wander back to his bag, ready to go. "I've sent most of my stuff to Kenma, and some of the bigger stuff to Yaku. That way, you won't have to deal with reminders of me." He laughs lowly, darkly, under his breath. "There aren't even any leftovers in the fridge."

He moves his stare back to Daichi's face. "Why?" is still written all over it.

"C'mon, Daichi… You can't have been ignorant to it. We're good friends. I love you…I think. And you like me…I think. But I don't think we see each other the same way anymore. This isn't two years ago now. Or even a year ago. There's no waking up in one of our beds, with you laughing at my bedhead. There are no 'Welcome home' kisses because you aren't home. There hasn't even been a real shared meal like this for months until tonight." A part of him wants to mention Suga, but he doesn't mention the setter. After all, Suga's not a part of this, not really. Tetsurou and Daichi might even have been doomed from the start.

But the longer they stare at each other, the more everything becomes apparent to Daichi, judging by the pain morphing on his face. At least he drops his eyes to his ramen, which is growing colder by the second. He's sorry.

But Tetsurou doesn't want him to be sorry. He just wants the both of them to be happy, even if that means they're not happy together.

"I don't know how to do any of this," Daichi says, which surprises Tetsurou. Though he understands it.

"Yeah…me neither. That's probably why this hurts so much." Tetsurou sips more of his water, stands, and goes and empties the rest into the sink.

A vibration breaks through the silence. Tetsurou looks over at his phone on the kitchen table.

"It's Akaashi," he states, coming back to the table and pushing his chair in. He swipes the touchscreen and reads the text. "Oh. They're here."

"'Here'?" Daichi echoes. He looks confused.

But Tetsurou walks over to his bag, shoulders it, and skims the apartment one last time. "…yeah. Akaashi drives. He and Bokuto are outside. They're getting me before we pick up Lev on the way to the airport. I'm sure Lev and Yaku appreciated the extra alone time." He walks back to Daichi. He doesn't kiss him or hug him. He just touches his face, and Daichi turns his face in towards the caress, looking as though it's the most intimate touch that has ever passed between them. It makes Tetsurou's knees buckle for a second, but he doesn't let himself be swayed. His mind's already made up.

Daichi walks him to their door, and Tetsurou appreciates that he doesn't hold on to his hand or the hem of his sweatshirt or anything. "Tetsurou…"

"Yeah." Tetsurou grins—his old, feline grin that used to make Daichi roll his eyes and blush. "I love you, too. I'm not sure in what way anymore, but I do know that I love you." He waves over his shoulder then and departs with a smile, while Daichi nods.

Their door doesn't close until Tetsurou rounds the corner and traipses down the stairs.

Outside, the sun's a little too bright for Tetsurou's liking. But there the owls are, in Akaashi's reasonably good-looking sedan. "Heya," he says as he unceremoniously tosses his bag into the backseat and drops in beside it.

"Hey hey!" Bokuto chirps, and Akaashi groans from behind the steering column.

"Please don't get him started," Akaashi warns as they pull away.

"Oh, lighten up, Keiji!" Bokuto says with a pseudo pout. He turns around in his seat to talk to Tetsurou. "Hey, Kuroo! Did you eat yet? Are you hungry? Man, I'm famished! Keiji promised me a treat on the way to the airport, and that we'd get snacks once there, but we can stop if you like. I don't think Lev will mind!"

No, Lev and Yaku wouldn't mind, Tetsurou agrees, but he shakes his head anyway. "Nah, man, I'm fine. Thanks, though. I just don't have much of an appetite."

Bokuto wilts a smidge and Tetsurou can sense Akaashi's glance at him via mirror, but neither of them presses him. They know. Well, they don't know everything, but they _will_ know. Tetsurou will tell them, in time. He'll take his time, and he'll share what he wants to, and he'll have to be careful not to let Lev know too much, otherwise it'll get back to Yaku, who'll get all protective and bring all the hassles that entails. But he'll talk to them.

As the car gets on the highway, heading to Tokyo while the sun sets, Tetsurou muses on that last notion, and how he won't be talking to Daichi anymore. At least, he won't call him or text him. But maybe a postcard or two will be all right. Kenma _did_ tell him that if someone means a lot to you, you should tell them. And be it in Russian, Polish, French, or English, Tetsurou knows—

The sentiment will always be the same.

**Author's Note:**

> I just…have mixed feelings. ;_; I don't want to ship Kurodai, but I do? Like, wut? ARGH. Dx (Nah, I ship it.) But I took a teensy bit of inspiration from Yoshinaga Fumi's Kinou Nani Tabeta? (What Did You Eat Yesterday?) and Ono Natsume's Gente, as well as some Jpop and Kpop songs that just wrecked me for this fic (mostly stuff by Primary). D8 Kenhina naturally work its way in there, and decided on their own that they meant OTP and not brOTP, but whatevs. And Suga… *sighs* Oh, Daichi. I'm just sorry for Kuroo, actually, but that's why there's "Today I eat alone" so I can give Daichi's brain an exercise. Thanks to BlueMango for helping me decide on Kuroo's degrees (she decided he'd be the type to double-major just for shits and giggles, so thanks, hon!). But ahhh just leave a review with your feels or whatev because I'm a mess right now. And then read "Today I eat alone" to, hopefully, fix your feels.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading, and please review! Check out my other fics, too, if you liked this!
> 
> -mew-tsubaki D8


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